Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Bad places....

I think it's safe to say that we have all been in some pretty bad places in our lives. Some physically, some mentally, and some both... I personally fall into the "both" category.

Lately I have fallen more into the "mentally" category, and that's currently where I am. I have always been one that has been able to put on a "mask" that makes it appear that I am happy with where I'm at, and that nothing is wrong. When in reality, I hurt deep inside like many others. One thing I have learned is that no matter what "mask" you put on, it doesn't change what your true feelings are inside. It's never a good idea to hide your feelings, or bottle them up inside, it's only going to lead to bigger issues down the road. Believe me, I know it's easier said than done to NOT put on that mask, I still struggle with it from time to time, but you've got to try your hardest to express your thoughts and feelings, otherwise things will not get any better.

At this time I will not go into ALL the details of my issues with EVERYONE here...however, I have been able to talk through them with some close friends of mine, and it has helped. As odd as it may seem to some, I don't feel like my current state of mind has affected my poker playing lately, if anything, playing poker has helped keep my mind off of my other problems, which can be both good and bad.

For any of you out there that follow me..if ever you need/want someone to talk to about ANYTHING, just let me know, I will do my best to be there for you when I can. To anyone that would like to do some HH reviews, I am completely up for that as well... Just hit me up on Skype josh.orent is the ID....

Catch you all later!!

Sunday, December 19, 2010


Even though this title is something that relates to poker, this blog has NOTHING to do with poker....just me....

Lately my mindset has been a bit of a roller coaster....Some days are obviously better than others, and though I know everyone goes through their rough patches, I can't help but think somehow my situation is a bit different.

In the past year I've done alot to try and change myself for the better, and give myself, and my children a better life. However here I am at the end of the year, not really any happier than I was last year at this time....maybe even LESS happier than I was then. I know people throw out empty threats at times, I can honestly say that if my life doesn't start taking a turn for the better, that I'm not sure I will see 2012....

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Wrapping up the year...

Ok, first of all, I know the year isn't done yet, but as good as I've been about keeping this blog updated, I figured I should probably get a jump on it now ;) Not only that, but the world is ending today, at some point...though there isn't much time left here for it to end.(Those that have listened to Nick in the past should know what I'm referring to here). Happy Birthday Nick! Welcome to life after death!! ;)

So looking back over the last year, it has been to say the least, a very interesting/eventful year. It started out with me going back to school, being asked to be a coach in the Rainman Poker program, going to Vegas for the first time, dropping out of school, going to LA, visiting Vegas again, back to LA, getting arrested in Kansas, moving out on my own, and getting a job. Told you, very interesting, and very eventful.

Some of this I have discussed in past entries, so I won't go into great detail on all of these happenings. With all the good and bad things that have happened this year, I can't complain too much. I would like to think I have learned alot, about life and poker. I've also experienced more this year than I ever could have imagined.

Looking at the rest of this year, and all of next, I am very much looking forward to it! While I am not doing for a living, what I would like to be, it could be worse ;) Yes, I am still playing poker, not as much as I would like, but I'm still playing. I currently work 3rd shift at a local grocery store, and while I don't like the job so much itself, I do like the people I work with, and get along with them very well.

So what's in store for me in the future? Well, I will continue to be working my job I don't like....at least for the time being ;) I will also continue to play poker(until the government tells me I know longer can). I am also going to work on my relationships with my friends, and other special people in my life...I sure hope they know who they are ;) I am also currently dating someone that I hope to continue to be with for a long while(not bad for someone that is "drawing dead" when it comes to women).

As for goals, both poker, and personal, I will save that for closer to the end of the year....I PROMISE to update my blog again before the year ends ;)